Soap bars, ruling the world in complete secrecy. Even though we don’t clearly see, hear or feel them controlling our every day lives they do. How they pull this off is quit remarkable.
Just think, your back in first grade. You wake up late therefore requiring you to take a shower after school. In school your on the playground and girls are giving boys cooties but the girls don’t give you any for some weird reason, you sit in the corner cootie-less and crying wondering why no one would play with you during recess. You go home and your mom covers her nose and sends you straight to the shower. Then all your time to play with your new Lego set is gone because you have a 6000-word essay on The Scarlet letter. The most descriptive book you have ever read in your entire school career.
Just think, your back in first grade you wake up before the alarm, you have a shower and use your favorite sponge bob soap your mom got you for your birthday, you change into your clothes and go to put on your fresh new sketchers. You walk out of your house looking like a complete G. You go to school and you get your test back that you thought you failed… you failed it, but because of the 85 extra credit points you ended up getting a 130 which bumped your grade up from a F- to a A++. You’re sent to the priciple. He is so astounded by your recent improvement he pulls you up a grade! Its recess, and the girls did stop giving you cooties because you smelled like fresh crabby patties, you know you would have to go to the hospital afterwards to get treated for overdose but at the moment you felt great. Your day couldn’t have been better.
Hopefully this blog convinced all of you non-soap users to make a huge change and use soap. It will not only benefit yourself, but it will help everyone around you feel better. Trust me, without soap the world would just be another oversized garbage dump with depressed first graders crying in the corner.
this blog changed my life. I will for now on use soap. This is because i juts love cuties and want them. This makes sense of why i've been getting such little cuties. Thanks Akash!
ReplyDeleteAkash, this is a wacky blog. I think it is very creative. Soap is definitely a good idea. I am glad that you were able to see the light and start using it. I really like the fact that this blog flashes between high school and elementary school, like Slaughterhouse Five. You have become unstuck in time.
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